She who laughs, lasts

Consider this:

An anchorwoman is asked about the extent to which she attributes her rapid rise in broadcasting to being an Asian-American female. She replies:

1. "Uh...um...gee...very funny."
    
2. "Who the heck do you think you're asking an insulting question like that? I don't like your attitude."
    
3. Pointing to her boss, the network's senior vice president, "Bill likes the way I do his shirts."

What type of reply would you be likely to make? Well, if you're like most women, you'd reply with either the first or second and not be very happy with yourself in either case.

The first response, while high on the cooperative scale, is low in self-assertiveness and does not deal with the racist and sexist insinuations. You really haven't stood up for yourself.

The second reply, while high on the self-assertiveness scale, is apt to alienate everyone within earshot. You've made your point, but you've made everyone uncomfortable. You're one of those women.

The third type of reply-the way Connie Chung actually responded when asked this question a few years ago-ranks high on both cooperative and self-assertiveness scales. Chung's clever retort, noted in Regina Barreca's 1991 book, "They Used To Call Me Snow White...But I Drifted," demonstrates the power of humor.

By making a joke about Chinese laundry stereotypes, Chung uses humor to her advantage. The reply educates (can anyone doubt she believes the question to be sexist and racist?) without alienating and shows she has enough self-confidence not to be miffed by such an uninformed line of questioning.

So, if the third type of reply is so powerful, why don't more women use them?

• Some people, especially women, seem to believe humor doesn't belong in the workplace. On the contrary, research has shown that humor is an extremely powerful leadership tool. It boosts morale, productivity and creativity, reduces tension, and builds bridges between individuals and groups.
   
• Some people erroneously equate a strong personal presence with somberness. In fact, just the opposite is true. Humor is evidence of personal strength, intelligence and quick thinking, traits necessary in leadership positions. A quick quip has gotten me out of a tight fix many times.
   
• Others say they just aren't funny. They were born missing the humor gene.
  Nonsense. Anyone who wants to can learn to use humor effectively at work. It's mostly a matter of desire and practice.
   
• Finally, there are those who admit to being humorous occasionally, but not quick. We're the ones who think of the perfect response hours later while driving home. We hide behind the excuse that, after all, we're not stand-up comedians.

Any stand-up comedian will tell you, however, that the appearance of spontaneity is an illusion, that it is the result of careful and systematic preparation. Before any performance, professional comedians think explicitly about themselves-their strengths and vulnerabilities-and about how an audience will react to them.

When a heckler makes fun of a comedian, the comedian quickly puts the heckler in place. The comedian maintains complete control of the situation without alienating.

This kind of systematic preparation is similar to what we've been taught to do before a job interview. Anticipate a question, and you won't hesitate with your response. If, for example, you are an Asian-American woman who had broken through the glass ceiling, you can expect to get "heckled" on that subject, so be prepared as Chung was.

The same holds true for black females, tall females, blond females, "brainy" females, "jock" females, etc. Identify your vulnerabilities and prepare your powerful Type 3 response in advance.

A few simple rules can help you develop healthy humor habits.

• Steer clear of self-deprecating humor. Even seemingly harmless self-deprecating jokes ("It's a shame my dress size is larger than my IQ") can misfire in the workplace and encourage others to make fun at your expense.
   
• Do not confuse being silly with having a good sense of humor. Women should use humor to empower themselves, not to entertain others.
   
• Apply the "Humane Humor" rule. Never make a joke at someone else's expense, especially about something they can't change-such as physical appearance or cultural, ethnic or religious background.
   
• Memorize your all-purpose ad-libs and practice using them. Voice inflection, stance and facial expression are as important as words.
   
• Be yourself. Never do or say anything that's not you. Women especially should not try to be "one of the boys."

The next time you make a witty remark and no one laughs, don't think that you've made a mistake. Think that you've made progress. Remember: Until you can gracefully handle difficult colleagues and awkward predicaments-situations where humor helps tremendously-you aren't using all the tools at your disposal to help you succeed in the workplace.

And in a competitive business world, you need every edge you can get. No joke.

--

Cowan-Gascoigne is founder and president of the Leadership Co., a Cleveland consulting firm. She was formerly head of the corporate development and public affairs division of the Cleveland Clinic and a consultant with McKinsey & Co.

This article originally appeared in the Women's Work column in the Business section of The Plain Dealer on Sunday, April 12, 1992.

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